She was arrested for laughing

> >This is from an actual trial in the UK.
> >A young Woman who was several months pregnant was sitting in a bus.
> >When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling
> >humiliated on account of her condition.
> >She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.
> >She moved again and then on seeing him laughing more, she filed a court
> >case on him.
> >
> >In court, the Man's defence was: When the lady boarded the bus I
> >couldn't help noticing she was pregnant.
> >She sat under an advertisement, which read 'Coming Soon- The unknown
> boon'..

> >I was even more amused when she then sat under a shaving advertisement,
> >which read: 'William's stick did the trick'..
> >Then I could not control myself any longer, when on the third move she
> >sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Dunlop Rubber would have
> >prevented this accident..
> >The case was dismissed. The judge fell off his chair laughing.

PIRATES, SUNDOWNS and CHIEFS

Girl sleeps over @ her boyfriend's house, in the morning she asks him to borrow her t-shirt, and he proudly gives her a PIRATES one, she responds:" Uyang'hlanyela ufuna abantu bonke babone ukuthi ngiphuma ukuyodliwa!!

 

Then he pulled out a SUNDOWNS t-shirt, she goes like: Kodwa ungizwani mara he ! So ufuna abantu bonke babone ukuthi ngidliwa every weekend?

"Athathe se CHIEFS Maye Nkosiyami ngenzeni mara " wonke umuntu uyongibona ngiza kude ukuthi ngiphelile ukudliwa abafana abancane !!

Ukubikwa kwesisu......

Ubaba womfana: Themba!
"Baba", kusabela umfana omithisileyo.

"Woza lapha", angene uThemba enamahloni

"Themba", "baba", "Uyabazi labantu?" kubuza ubaba

Athule umfana, abheke phansi.

"Ngiyabuza Themba"

"Yebo baba";

"Usho ukuthini Themba! uma uthi yebo?"
"Uwena obubhebha lengane, Themba sewukwazi ukubhebha wena?"
"Usuyagibela Themba sewukwazi ukudla iNQuza. Themba!!!!"

"Yebo baba", kuphendula uThemba qede abheke phansi.

"Uwena, Themba? wawuthi wenzani?"

"Ngiyaxolisa baba ngangithi ngiyadlala"

"Udlala Themba? Phendula, udlala ngomthondo into ekhalisa onyoko?"

Bese kuphendula umama ka Themba

"Wena ntombazana kade ngangikukhuza ngithi awuyeke ukuzodiliva isibumbu laph' ekhaya Wangalalela, ukutholile obe kade ukufuna."

Umntu kufuneka ayazi ibhayibhile yakhe.

Nanku losisi unxibe iskirt esifutshane esithi kuthiwa sisigcebhezana
ucela ilift endleleni, nini nini kumise imoto eqhutywa ngumfana.


Angene emotweni esithi uya ngasedolophini, iliso likaBhutana limana lisithi krwaqu lisiba ukujonga usisi apha emazantsi, uyasazi ke isigcebhezana sibanjani xa usisi ehleli phantsi. Ubhuti wayemana uphazama nokutshintsha iigears kuba iliso liyaphazamiseka.

Ubhuti uyabila nokubila ngoku kuba kaloku osisi its an open secret abazinxibi bathi bayaphola. Uphandlwa yilonto uBhuti lo. Sebesondele edolophini uSisi axelele umfana ukuba uyehla kwinext stop. Xa esihla usisi athi ndicela uyokufunda uMateyu 7 : 7. Ahambe umfana xa efika kokwabo ufuna ibhayibhile xa efunda ithi " cela uzokuphiwa, funa uzokufumana, nkqonkqoza uzokuvulelwa"


Wakhala yedwa esithi "tsi izinto zamashwa madoda"

AND YOU DECIDE TO BE GAY..........WHY?

Reasons Why SA Men will never stop cheating

I REST MY CASE!

SCROLL DOWN!!!!!!

I rest my case !!!!

HOT !

TRUTH, TRUTH AND MORE TRUTH

SIMPLE TRUTH 1

Partners help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story:
In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH 2

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and saying "congrats".
But, none of them come and touch the man's pe*is and say "Good job".
Moral of the story:
"Hard work is never appreciated"

The 11th Husband

The 11thHusband.....

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin".
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times.?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.
"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.



"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing;even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband # 5 was an Engineer,he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.
"Husband #6 was from Administration;he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
"Husband # 9 was a Gynaecologist; all he did was look at it.
"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was lick it. --- God I miss him.
" But now that I've married you, I'm so excited"..
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?

"You're with the GOVERNMENT"...
This time I KNOW I'Mgonna get SCREWED!

Nertwork Failure

UTat'uJola xa ebiza i"business" yakwakhe no Mam'Jola uthi yi phone..1day uTat'Jola ubiza unyana wakhe....

Tat'uJola: Khawuxelele umamakho ndifuna ukwenza iphone call!

Mam'uJola: Hay, hay,hay ayikho inetwork!

Tat'uJola (ecaphukile): He Kwedini xelela umamakho man uba ndithi ndiya kwi public phones ke mna ke!

Mam'Jola: Yhu uyandihlolela ke ngoku,uzukhe ulinge nje Jola uye kwezo Public Phone, ndakuvula iCall Centre apha endlini, ngoba nalo Phone Card yakho seyphelile kakade! LOL

KHUMBULEKHAYA

Lona ngu Sophie ufunwa yisoka lakhe elithi lamqhina 1999 etranskei, wathi ulibangise egoli uyofuna umsebenzi sisi buyela ekhaya bayakudinga, washiya abantwana abane.

Lona uFezile bathi wabeleka ekhaya eRabie Ridge ethi uya e melika uyoba umrepha, baba phindela ekhaya baba bayakudinga. siyakholwa ukuthi sowalifeza iphupho lakho.

lona ngu Mamkeli, wasuka ekhaya athi uya eJamaica uyoba yi lasta, basola ukuthi insangu beyimsanganisa, abafazi bakho ekhaya bafile yindlala

lona uNoncedo, ugogo wamxosha ngoba efuna ukuba yilesbian, phindela ekhaya sisi ugogo sekafile.

uma ufuna nawe sikuncede ngokuk'thole undindanezwe wakini, fonela uDani, noma ubhale incwadi uthumele nesthombe sepasi....

A beautiful poem written by a Father to save his Daughter!!!

A beautiful poem written by a Father to save his Daughter!!!
Do read it once...........I am sure u also won't be left untouched by the words and the feelings that they depict.
The last stanza, after reading from the beginning, suddenly slows down the heart-beats..

DAD - BABY RACHEL - MOM


A sad Dad's poem...
This is a beautiful poem. There is an appeal from a Zimbabwean
couple at the bottom of message, not asking for anything more
than that you hand the poem on.
The husband wrote the poem.

TO MY CHILD


Just for this morning, I am going to

smile when I see your face and laugh

when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning, I will let you

choose what you want to wear,

and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step

over the laundry and pick you up and take you to

the park to play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the

dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put

that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug

the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with

you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell

once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and

whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one

if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't worry

about what you are going to be when you grow up, or

second guess every decision I have made where you are

concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you

help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you

trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us

to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can

have both toys.

Just for this evening, I will hold you in

my arms and tell you a story about how you were

born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you

splash in the tub and not get angry.

Just for this evening, I will let you

stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle

beside you for hours, and miss my favourite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my

finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be


grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and

fathers who are searching for their missing children, the

mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's

graves instead of their bedrooms. The mothers

and fathers who are in hospital rooms

watching their children suffer senselessly and screaming

inside that little body

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold

you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then,

that I will thank God for you, and ask him for

nothing, except one more day............


Hi! I am a 29-year-old father. My wife and I have had a wonderful life together. God blessed us with a child too. Our daughter's name is Rachel and she is 10 months old. Not long ago did the doctors detect brain cancer in her little body.

There is only one way to save her and that is an operation. Sadly we don't have the money for the operation. AOL and Zdnet (in Zimbabwe ) have agreed to help us.

The only way they can help is this: If you send this email to other people< BR>AOL will track this email and count how many people get it. Every person that opens this email and sends it to at least 3 people will give us 32c. (in Zimbabwe dollars) Please help us

Ityala Lamawele Reloaded

17 September 2011
BONGANI FUZILE

TWO Transkei families are claiming that a youth in his 20s, who was found wandering in the Engcobo villages last month, is their son.
Now the families are turning to technology for assistance, and will use DNA testing to identify the “mystery man”.
A family from Engcobo’s Manzamdaka village said the young man was their son, who had miraculously returned after he ‘died’ in a drowning accident 12 years ago.
However, a second family from Mthatha’s Baziya village said he was their “problematic” son who had gone missing last month.
The Engcobo family say his name is Nceba Apleni and was born in 1985 , while the Baziya family claim he is Andile Petela and was born in 1983. Both families say he had identifying features – such as birthmarks – which confirmed him as their son.
The confusion started last month when the young man, who is said to be mentally challenged, wandered into a traditional healer’s home in Msintsana village in Engcobo.
The healer, Dumile Kwaza, said he was hungry, dehydrated and couldn’t speak.
“He emerged from the bushes behind our house and he looked like a person who went missing a long time ago. I called villagers and they told me he’s from the Apleni family and had ‘died’ 12 years ago,” said Kwaza. “They (the Aplenis) positively identified him .”
Nowinala Apleni said her son had drowned in a shallow dam while playing with friends in 1999. She heard about a person who could be their son and went to investigate. “I was shocked. It was him, it was my son,” she said. “My husband, family elders and siblings all saw him – we checked every mark he had before he died and we positively identified him.”
Asked who they had buried in 2009 if that was the case, Apleni said the family was not sure.
A family elder, Zimisele Apleni, who saw the body being retrieved from the river in 1999 after the drowning, said: “I was there when he was retrieved from the water … His father came and identified him and we buried him.”
A villager, Lungile Mfeketho , also believed the Apleni’s son had risen from the dead. “There’s no doubt about this – that’s the boy. He has mysteriously risen from the dead,” said Mfeketho.