XOLILE'S NEPHEW OBUTUARY

Ayaxhoma amaXhosa but ke sizothini?


Xolile's nephew passed away, on the day of the funeral he makes the following speech:

"Mawethu, size apha namhlanje ukuzongcwaba umtshana'm, uCharles, obeligqwetha. (LAWYER)

Uzalwa ngumfo wakuthi ongugqirha (doctor), umama wakhe uyi-CEO,
izalamani(siblings) zakokwabo azikho zonke namhlanje ngoba ziphesheya kwezilwandle on a mission.

On Monday, I got a call on my Nokia E65, le inekhamera, niyazibona mos, yah, bandixelela ukuba, noh umtshana'm ufumene i-accident.  Xa ndijonga i-Rolex yam, ndafumanisa ukuba man!- its still early, about 6H00 ekuseni.

Then I called my wife, because ebehambe ngeCompressor eye e-M onti the previous day. Unfortunately she was still in East London so ebengekavi nto.  Since there was no flight available sathatha i-Jaguar, ukuyobona ukuba kwenzeke ntoni. Xa sifika, safumanisa ukuba noh, iJeep yomtshana iwile, wasweleka ngoko nangoko.

And so we started the funeral arrangements.

Sisokole ukufumana icoffin.I made a lot of calls, but to no avail.
Besifuna I coffin ya at least R100 000. I was about to give up,saying I'll just postpone the funeral. Then I got a call from Germany , this guy  said he's got a coffin for me for just R150 000, free delivery. I was so relieved.

Anyway, sizokwenza so, those of you abangena transport, ii-i-Veco zam ezi-eleven zi available. Xa sibuya emangcwabeni, kukhona i-set up yee tables, just allocate yourselves a seat. Nizakufumana ii-menu, eat and drink as much as you like.

And xa nihamba good people, those of you that come from Mafikeng nase JHB,  you'll see just xa ningena kwi highway, kukhona ii-filling stations ezi about four, ningagcwalisa your tanks there.

Nina abavela eDurban, you'll  see xa ningena ku N3, kukhona i-Shell garage,do likewise. Those of you abangena transport, ii-iVeco zam zizakunigodusa.

I thank  you !