Jokes and Facts on No under 18 Bar, Interesting Facts, Ibhubezi Elimhlophe (White Lion), Interesting Facts Part 2, Zulu Register, Urgent notice for Joburgers and How True is it?

NO UNDER 18 BAR

18 Zulu men went to a bar and the Xhosa guy asked, 

“Kutheni nihamba niyi 18?”

The Zulu guys replied 

“because no under 18 allowed… "

Ha! Ha!ha! 

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Interesting Facts about Life

Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves you,

it's only when you leave her a virgin.

Tension is when a wife is pregnant!

Terror is when a girlfriend is pregnant!

Horror is when both are pregnant!

Tragedy is when you are not responsible for both!

The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm when mating.

Only 10% enters the female.

And you always wondered why the sea water tasted salty?

Why is it that a girl looks down when you say I love you?

To see if you really mean it!

Why is sex similar to shaving?

Well, because no matter how well you do it today, tomorrow you have to do it again.

Wives are funny creatures.

They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks

and then they want to kill the woman who does.

Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic sex.

Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?

Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.

What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?

Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.

What's the difference between a bomb & a condom?

In a bomb blast, population decreases

BUT in a condom blast, population increases.

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Ibhubezi Elimhlophe (White Lion)

Terblanche, whose stage name is iBhubeSi Elimhlophe (White Lion), has been struggling to make his mark since he started in music 10 years ago.

After knocking on many doors without success, Terblanche has decided to release his music independently. Cellphone, which he released recently, is a very interesting maskandi album that could succeed if supported.

"I've realised that you need to have patience. Things don't happen overnight in this industry. I've knocked on many doors. After an interview on Metro FM, some companies called in and pretended they would help me, but didn't," says the singer from Durban.

His album is rich with beautiful maskandi sounds and it is original. The CD showcases Terblanche's passion for maskandi and for music.

Like all maskandi musicians he sings about everything from politics to social issues to love.

"I sing in Zulu, Afrikaans and English. The music in the album is maskandi and there is also a reggae track. In the track Cellphone I highlight the problems caused by cellphones," Terblanche says.

"In another song I encourage people to tolerate each other. I preach unity and peace as we move forward and build South Africa," he says.

In Cellphone, Terblance worked with Shamza Mkhwanazi, who wrote the songs.

He says his passion for traditional music started a long time ago, before he dropped out of university while studying engineering.

"I became interested in African traditional music because of my friends. My father encouraged me to learn about other cultures and languages from a young age. Zulu was the closest. I've always listened to Johnny Clegg, Shwi Nomtekhala, Soul Brothers and the late Lucky Dube," he says.

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Interesting Facts about Life Part 2

While creating Husbands, God promised Women that good and ideal Husbands would be found in all corners of the world.

And then He made the earth round. 


            

May be God wanted women to run around in circles looking for the right man, only to realize later that her time on earth is up.

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ZULU REGISTER

Hay boo! Principal.


The Teacher got into serious trouble when he was marking a register.

The Principal over heard him saying:

1) Goba Nozipho

2) Dumisane Khwela

3) Faka Phakathi

4) Khipha Futhi

5) Chama Phela

6) Thula Mtwana

7) Dumisane Qeda

8) Nonhlanhla Landela

But the principal did not realize that the teacher was marking a Register

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URGENT NOTICE TO JOBURG PEOPLE:

Please do not accept FREE KEY HOLDERS at service stations, it has a tracker device in it by which you can be followed this is happening already in Jo’burg & Durban as we speak. Please send to as many people as possible.

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Is it true?

Knowing your woman according to her tribe/nationality TSONGA / VENDA WOMEN Muthi experts Smart Sassy Ambitious Good at almost everything Don't let no one mess with them   TSWANA WOMEN Ba tshaba sekolo Good with their husbands / boyfriends Very independent Don't fight for what they know it's theirs (e.g. boyfriends. husbands) Very classy - Like nice things (house, furniture etc.) Will kill you for the insurance money . U WILL FIND THEM AT MAINTANANCE COURT , BA RATA MONATE LE DI VAT & SIT PEDI WOMAN Show too much respect for their men if they are good to them Usually they are very clever but never shows it. They don't expect much from their men as long as they love her & and all They are beautiful Very good in bed. They can’t ask for money, they expect their partner to offer all the time They can live with their men anywhere in the world as long as its safe & Presentable. They will kill you, if they find out u''v been cheating ZULU WOMEN - They don't mind polygamous relationships . - Very obedient, loves nature and some are independent. - They beat you up if they find out u are sleeping with their man .. -They come to Joburg for fashion & better paying jobs, very ambitious. - They prefer staying "ekasi" and most of them are intelligent. INDIAN WOMEN You aint getting nothing until you marry her . - Marriage is very important to her. -They are very honest to their loved ones. - She usually wants to live somewhere safe, doesn't matter where. - She's particular on who's toilet she uses. WHITE WOMEN _Everything is 50 / 50.you pay for the house, she pays for the furniture _ Before she make kids she checks her budget _ They are too bitchy _ They want to live in up market places. _ They prefer eating out because they don't like cooking. XHOSA WOMEN - Beautiful and big bums. Some of them can be very intelligent. - They are very happy and love to sing. -  Friendship is very important to them. - They come to Joburg for a reason, once she gets a man, she calls home, tell the parents she's got a job. - They don't want men who can't afford their rent, shopping, and car instalments. - They don't want to be cheated but they usually get their men from other women. -They are two timers no matter how good you are to them -They usually want to live in town house or flats whether they can afford It or not. COLOURED WOMEN - Beauty and brains galore. Give her a baby and she's stuck on you. - Best cooking you can get and the cleanest house. - Loves her cigis (Courtleigh) - Buy her flowers all the time, she'l love you always. -  All she needs is a regte oukie. -  Buy her caverllas, Nikes, soviets & lot of   Savannah 's   +   Rum -  They scream for more in bed and very jealous over their man. -  They go to bed with a doek on their head. -  They are very honest to their  partners -  Where they stay it doesn't matter. They usually move in at the boyfriend's Place SOTHO WOMEN -All they want is marriage & a home . Intelligent. -Whatever they get from this side they take it back home.(Ba tlo sebetsa,haba tlela masawana) -They never forget About their mothers at home. They will do anything to keep their men Very good in bed They like it on Top. SWAZI WOMAN - Oh what a woman!!! - She is everything a Man needs from a Woman - Their weak point is jealousy esp. if they Love you - These are the most humble women (though a little bit naughty) - You marry a Swazi girl you get all what it takes - They are very honest to their loved ones - They can live with their men anywhere in the world as long as its safe & Presentable. - They are the most beautiful women not only outside but even inside - But they can be bitchy if you try to make fool of them ,Big cheaters

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