Interesting Park and Men about town

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Boy sitting with his girlfriend in his BMW:

BOY: there is something I have to tell u, I haven't been honest with u ...

GIRL: what? ...

BOY: I'm married and have kids....

GIRL: yooo wangthusa *u nearly scared me* I thought u were going to say the BMW is not yours!

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A women is having s#x with her lover in an apartment 20 stories high.

Suddenly her husband returns from a long trip, and she hears him approaching in the apartment,

So she tells the lover: “do not move at all… I will resolve this situation!”

Comes the husband: “who is this?” asked the husband 

Wife: “oh sweetie… this is just a robot I bought to have s#x with when u not around, so that I don’t have to cheat with your friends or with the neighbours…

I did it because u spend all the time travelling and u know that I…uhhm… have needs!!”

Husband: “oh honey I understand perfectly well… I believe u… ok let’s do a quickie now, I came home as fast as I can and I’m extremely horny now!!”

Wife: “ OH NO DARLLING… yesterday I got my period… u better take a bath, I’ll prepare u sumthing to eat so long”

The lover is left with the husband in the room alone, while the wife walked out…

Husband: “D@mn I’m so fcken horny... I am going to fck this robot instead..” he tries entering the robot from his behind…

With a metallic and robotic voice the lover proclaims : 

“SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOLE!!… SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOLE!!”

The husband says: “fck this crappy robot… I’m going to throw it out of the godd@mn window!!” the lover realises that he’s 20 stories high in the apartment and exclaims:

“SOFTWARE UPDATE!!!! SOFTWARE UPDATE!!!! U MAY TRY AGAIN… I REPEAT… TRY AGAIN!!!”

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A woman's phone rings at 5 am and her husband answers it.

She hears her husband reply to the caller: "Why don't you fck off,Call the fckn weather man,you stupid fckn IDIOT!".

The woman asks who on earth is calling at this time.

Her husband answers: "It's some idiot asking if the coast is clear"