LITTLE OLD LADY IN COURT

LITTLE OLD LADY IN COURT


 
Defense Attorney: 
Will you please state your age? 

Old Lady: 
I am 94 years old. 

Defense Attorney: 
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? 

Old Lady: 
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm
spring evening,  when a young man comes creeping up on the porch
and sat down beside me. 

Defense Attorney: 
Did you know him? 

Old Lady: 
No, but he sure was friendly. 

Defense Attorney: 
What happened after he sat down? 

Old Lady: 
He started to rub my thigh. 

Defense Attorney: 
Did you stop him? 

Old Lady: 
No, I didn't stop him. 

Defense Attorney: 
Why not? 

Little Old Lady: 
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died
some 30 years ago. 

Defense Attorney: 
What happened next? 

Old Lady: 
He began to rub all over of my body. 

Defense Attorney: 
Did you stop him then? 

Old Lady: 
No, I did not stop him. 

Defense Attorney: 
Why not? 

Old Lady: 
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited.
I haven't felt that good in years! 

Defense Attorney: 
What happened next? 

Old Lady: 
Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down
and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now! ' 

Defense Attorney: 
Did he take you? 

Old Lady: 
Hell, no!  He just yelled, "April Fool!" 
    And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.